// Shelby Hawks //

Hi there, sister.  I invite you into this space.  Settle in and close your eyes.  Take a deep breath and feel the tension in your body relax as you allow yourself to let go.  Inhale His grace and exhale the anxiety, the tension, the fear, the overwhelmed-ness.  Rest here, in the sacred fragrance of the Lord.

How often do we allow ourselves to enter into prayer this way—at rest and fully surrendered to the movement of the Spirit?  I know that I often fail to.  I sometimes enter into my prayer space with a restless mind and a distracted heart, eagerly seeking to spill out my thoughts and even waiting to check off the box that says, “yes I prayed today”.  I hate to admit that, but I am human and, especially when I feel dry, it’s difficult to come to Him eager to receive and rejoice and commune.

But oh, sister—the cry of my heart is this: I want to be a lover.  I want to be a lover like Magdalene.  I want to sit at His Feet and be totally in awe of Him (Luke 10:39).  I want to listen to His every word like it is water upon my parched and weary soul.  I want to know the look in His Eyes when He sees me.  I want to find my rest in Him.  I want to be attentive and captured and focused and undone at His Feet.  

Why do I find myself a do-er like little Martha? (Luke 10:41)

There is a path to freedom at His Feet that cannot be found anywhere else.  There is an intimacy there, in the fire of His Gaze that is unparalleled.  Magdalene desired to be totally exposed before Him.  She desired to be undone, to be seen and known because she was absolutely certain that, in doing so, she would be loved.  

Why do I find myself covered up, for fear that He’ll run at the sight of nakedness?

In Lamentations 2:19 it says, “Pour out your heart like water before the Lord.”  What a risk.  What if it is too much water?  What if He cannot hold it all?  What if it rushes out like Niagara?  Or what if it dribbles out like a leaky faucet?  I will never know what it looks like to pour my heart out like water if I don’t do it.  And isn’t that more painful and more permanent?

Magdalene was never afraid of what would spill out of her heart as she sat before Him.  But perhaps Martha was.  Perhaps she feared the Lord would see her anxieties and her weaknesses and her jealousy and her insecurity and her sins.  Or perhaps she feared He only loved her because she served Him.  Perhaps she did not know herself apart from all the doing, and she was not ready to know.  And maybe that is me and you, too.  Maybe we are do-ers and not rest-ers.  Maybe we fear the silence of resting or the emptiness that follows a blank schedule.  Maybe we fear the water that will pour out when we finally sit at the Feet.  

He still sees the water, even when we do not pour it out.  He knows what occupies our minds and our hearts.  He is never surprised or shocked by our restlessness.  “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things; one thing is needed.  She has chosen the better part…” (Luke 10:41-42).

His call is always the same, friend.  

His gentle voice—Come and sit at my feet.   There’s room for waterfalls and there’s room for leaky faucets.  There’s room for dark and light.  There’s room for known and unknown, seen and unseen.  There’s space to breathe and to rest.  There’s love enough to satisfy and overflow.  One thing is needed—come sit, come rest, my darling.  

Oh, let us be lovers like Magdalene!

He gazes on you—receive the glance.  His Heart is for you—open up to trust Him.  He upholds with His victorious right arm—pour out your heart, He is strong enough.  

There are countless saints who serve, sister.  Countless saints who cure lepers and heal sick, who open schools and orphanages and hospitals, who fight battles and build Churches, who enter convents and distribute the sacraments, who raise families and start ministries.  But they do something much greater: they heed the one thing and sit at His Feet.  

They bear the identity of lover.  They conform themselves to the Crucified One who cries out, “I thirst.”  They pour out their hearts like water to satisfy the One who loved them first, and then living water meets Living Water and He makes new wine.  And it is this new wine, sisters, that intoxicates our souls with the Spirit who empowers us to serve and do His work.   

It all begins at His Feet.  The only saint you and I can be is the one who loved.  Set it all aside.  Empty the jug of water.  Let us sit at the Feet of our Beloved Lord.  Let us love Him.

He is more than worthy.

Encouragement: Pray with Luke 10:38-42 and ask Him to show you how to be a Lover.  St. Mary Magdalene, pray for us.