Have you felt growing pains as you transition to a new phase of your life? 

I remember being the oldest of 5 and transitioning into high school. We all went to a catholic grade school that had kindergarten through 8th grade. I was the first to make the transition, everyone else was still at St. James. They were all still on the same schedule, that fall, all but me. The first time I remember really feeling left out was when everyone went to the beach and I was locked out of the house. Man that was a frustrating day. 

As we went back to school that fall it just got worse. Everyone else was doing cross country and would have the same after school schedule, everyone except me. I wasn’t always there for family dinner. I would be lying if I told you it wasn’t challenging. It was very challenging. 

The next big change was when I had a boyfriend, I wasn’t the first to have a boyfriend, but I was the first to have a “serious boyfriend” but let’s be real, high school relationships are rarely “serious,” I think few high school relationships face strong prayerful discernment of marriage. I digress, my point here is I was missing out on family fun when I had a boyfriend. This time around, I know I wasn’t the only one missing out and facing growing pains. When I had a boyfriend, my siblings faced growing pains too. They missed having me around for family game nights and weekend activities as much as they were used too. They missed having me around for things. Fortunately, I didn’t miss out on too much, but nonetheless, we all faced growing pains. 

Now, let’s talk about the most real growing pains I have ever faced: adulting, especially marital engagement. 

There are so many people in my life facing growing pains right now, me included! Not only am I still figuring out how to “adult” aka have a full time job, build a business, I’m also engaged and trying to plan a wedding, and even more daunting, figure out how my fiancé and I will “adult” together! 

I know it has been hard on my family not having me around as much, truthfully, I’m not sure what has been harder, this current situation, in which I live a few miles away, but we still have a hard time making time to see each other, or when I lived in Cleveland. Cleveland was hard for me, I always felt like I had to see my family, my grandparents, attend any family function, nurture my relationship with my now fiance, and find time to devote to my business. They were also incredibly challenging for my family! They wanted it to be the same as when I came home from college and everyone hung out all the time. I typically came home around the holidays so every second would be filled with the whole family hanging out. Because I knew that everyone had different expectations, those were stressful weekends for me, and it always felt like everyone lost. I ran myself into the ground, my family felt like I didn’t make them a priority, and my fiancé was always worried my family wouldn’t like him if I hung out with him more than them. 

Now I am around, but it’s so different when everyone is growing up, I live in my own apartment, I have a lot of responsibilities, and my family all has their own stuff going on. It is challenging! It’ll be even harder once I am married, I think it’ll be the hardest for my siblings, Christmas mornings won’t be the same without me there. Holidays will just be different. 

My point in all of this is it is challenging for sure, but I need you to know you are not alone, your family members face similar challenges and growing pains. If you’re like me, your family loves you and wants to spend as much time with you as they did when everyone was kids. I think that is so so important for us to remember!

So when you are facing transitions, know that you’re not alone. The people around you are transitioning too. Keep them in mind and if you can, continue some of the traditions that you had, or make new ones with them.