I’ve been wanting to write about the ways I have encountered the Lord as healer recently, and yet every time I sit down to put it into words, I find myself staring at a blank screen.  It is difficult to put into words the experience of Jesus as Healer, for it is vast and intimate and personal.  And yet there are truths to be shared about this profoundly intimate encounter with the One who alone is Healer.

I suppose I will begin by saying this: if you desire to know Him as Healer, you need only ask.  Jesus is willing and so abundantly ready to come and meet you in the space where you need to be healed.  In the past few months, I have recognized that my heart needed some deeper healing.  I was wrestling with some of my wounds and, in some ways, I even felt embarrassed of them.  I would tell myself that I should be over it by now, that I am not worthy to hurt like this.  Those are lies, friend.  It took me a while to show up honestly before the Lord, to admit that I was actually wounded, and to ask for the healing that I feared.  But the moment I had the courage to ask Him to heal me, He showed up and He showed up prepared to walk with me through it.  

It is in this simple asking that our healing can begin.  In the Gospels, Jesus asks those whom He heals this question: “Do you want to be made well?”  It might seem like a dumb question to ask—of course they want to be healed.  But Jesus knows what He is doing here.  We might ask Jesus to heal us, we might open up the door for Him to come in, but He needs to know that we are willing to undergo the process and prepared to receive the newness He wants to pour out.  He can’t put new wine in old wineskins, so our hearts must be ready, even if only slightly, to be changed.

Healing takes commitment.  It takes willingness to show up, submission to the process, strength to let yourself be opened up and tossed about, and understanding that it is okay to not be okay.  

Healing costs.  It requires letting go, surrendering memories, releasing yourself of guilt, shedding false idols, admitting your faults, asking for forgiveness, and granting forgiveness.  

Healing burns.  It brings about transformation; it calls to mind all those times when you have been hurt; it begs for reconciliation; it wells up the ache for wholeness in your chest.

Healing takes time.  It happens in layers, comes in waves, emerges in stages, and calls for patient attentiveness. 

In all of this: the commitment, the cost, the burning, the time, Jesus is so present to us.  Our Wounded Healer does not heal from the lofty golden throne, but from the humble wood of the Cross.  He heals with His Blood, and He sits with us in the middle of it all.  He is so gentle.  He holds our hand when it all feels like too much, He gives us breath when we feel like we have none left, He wipes away every tear, He holds us in our silent sobs, He speaks the words when we cannot, He is silent with us in our pain.  He just allows you to feel it, and as you do, He simply says: “I am still here.”

That’s what Jesus does—He sits with us and speaks the truth when we cannot claim it on our own.  He sows peace where there is restlessness and roots out sin so we can know grace.  He is a profound lover, lavishing upon us as we learn what it means to really be loved.  It is His Presence which heals us.  

Healing is a process, and it might seem daunting to embark on.  But let me ask you this: what is the point of shoving your pain into the corner and letting it sit there?  

Healing brings freedom, and freedom is what we are made for: Stand firm and do not again submit to the yoke of slavery.  I want to live this life dancing in the light, not bogged down by the darkness of pain and suffering.  I want to live the joy of resurrection, but I can only experience that if I let him see and heal my wounds.  Sure, they stay with us.  I am certain we will bear our scars eternally, just like He does.  But if we let Him heal us, the bleeding will cease and they will become glorified.  They will become spaces that the Lord’s glory radiates from.  They will be the parts of us that knew the presence of Jesus most intimately.  

Jesus wants you to know Him as Healer.  He is asking you, “Do you want to be made well?”  I encourage you to consider what it would mean for you to say yes to that question.  And as you consider it, I invite you to give yourself the time and space to heal—you are worthy of it.  

In my deepest wound, I saw His glory, and it astounded me. – St. Augustine