“I must not have done enough, but I feel as though I have nothing more to give.”
I want to be brief on this topic.
This topic of giving everything but feeling that you have done nothing.
So, I’ll start by observing dried lavender. I highly recommend keeping dried lavender on hand. For starters, not only does it make a great compliment to a latte or tea, but if you are stressed, there is nothing like crumpling some of the buds in your hand. They release the sweetest, soothing smell (even after keeping them unused for years).
This little flower is dried up—grounded down—yet releases the sweetest perfume and fulfills its purpose in this form.
Whether it is a dry-spell in the spiritual life, ministry, work, or lack of community—this drying out just might be the preparation for your grounding. I say this with every bit of hope and anticipation. A season of wrestling with mundane cycles of Mondays, is a season of crushing and stretching that slowly reveals the reality of His glory.
When you cannot take credit and it seems that you are not doing enough—you are in the grinding and threshing. It is here that there is room for His glory to burst through—for the perfume of His goodness to pervade your whole person.
As we realize our littleness, we give off an aroma of His grace. The breaking down, breaking habits, breaking attachments seem to be an endless cycle. But this is the threshing that leads to fulfillment. There is purpose here.
“Grain is crushed for bread, but not forever; though he thresh it thoroughly and drive his cartwheel and horses over it, he does not pulverize it.” (Isaiah 28:28)
None are threshed forever.
This is a season, a drying out, a preparation.
Do not despair or despise the grinding. Your response to the process has the ability to strengthen or weaken someone else’s response to their own season.
You have nothing left to give or prove because He wants all of you. He wants to do the heavy lifting. So let Him.
If you feel as though you cannot carry out the task before you or even choose rest—be consoled that this tension might be the place He has called you to be—for a moment—not forever. He is giving you the grace to be and live out what He has called you to do in this tension.
So with hands open, let the light in as you cry out to Him. In our weakest moment—where we do not remember how to receive—He is gently singing, “I assure you, I have your needs in mind. I will take care of it.”
May that be enough. Let Him be enough.