• From the desire of being loved, Deliver me, Jesus. •

This line from the Litany of Humility has always perplexed me. To be honest the first time I heard the Litany of Humility, I was disgusted. It cut into my pride, the sin most deeply ingrained in our human nature. I wasn’t deeply rooted in my faith. I was living a life seeped in selfishness and obsessed with living up to worldly standards. Lines such as “From the desire of being praised …From the desire of being honored, deliver me Jesus” were like acid against my skin. 

Even after having a reversion to the faith through the intercession of our Blessed Mother, one line in particular still bothered me:

• From the desire of being loved, Deliver me, Jesus. •

Isn’t the desire to be loved a good thing? A desire cultivated in us by our own creator to draw us to Him? Aren’t we meant for community? Aren’t we meant to love and to be loved others? Aren’t we meant to see the light of Christ through those around us?  

The desire to be loved and to love is a good thing. But it can so easily become disordered. When our desire for love from another person or a community eclipses our desire to love and be loved by God, that is when it is no longer a deep well of life that draws us closer to our Maker but a suffocating, desperate grasping for attention. When we seek others affections to affirm we are worthy of love instead of resting in the steadfast, sufficient love of our Father, we fall prey to pride and vanity. We no longer look to the Father, striving to do his will, but sink into restless self-seeking. 

I’ve been there. Too many times. Looking to a man to finally tell me, “Yes, you are worthy of being loved!” Looking to a supervisor to tell me, “Yes, you are capable and useful!” Looking anywhere and everywhere but to our Creator to tell me, “Yes, your life has meaning. Yes, you have dignity. Yes, you are loved.” 

It is good to want to be loved. But it’s remembering Whose love truly defines us. It’s remembering that even if we were stripped of every earthly relationship, every earthly affection, we would still be swimming in an ocean of Love greater than we could fathom. We would still be totally and completely whole in Him. It is good to want to be loved. But we have to remember: He is Love itself.