There is a trend on tiktok (yes, I’m on tiktok…) called “You Have To.” The videos start with a few notes from a harp and someone saying “you have to…” Each video has different content, but the format is the same. The person speaking will say what people have to either start or stop doing and then they spend the rest of the video explaining why you should listen to them. From what I understand, the point of this trend is to call out groups of people on their “toxic” behavior OR joke about your own “toxic traits” that others can probably relate to in a lighthearted way. 

I’m not usually the first to know when something becomes a trend, so when my sister wrote one of these Tiktoks out on our bathroom mirror, I was confused to say the least.

I woke up one morning to this message, “You have to stop romanticizing your life. Your life isn’t even that interesting, you can’t be the main character and also be annoying. Main characters are usually likeable. Stay humble.” 

I was a little worried after reading it for the first time, I thought something was wrong with her and obviously didn’t get the joke. When I went to check on her, she just laughed and showed me the tiktok that she got the quote from. 

The first line gets me everytime. “You have to stop romanticizing your life.” Well shoot Tiktok, why you gotta call me out like that? I am the queen of romanticizing my life.

If I were to put my voice over a dramatic harp sound, I would probably say this…

“You have to stop thinking your future husband is the random guy in the adoration chapel. Stop planning a meet-cute instead of praying. He’s probably in a holy, committed relationship or discerning the priesthood. The Lord isn’t going to change His will for your life because you think you created the next best rom-com. Let yourself be surprised.” 

Ohhhhh, I could say more. 

A few weeks ago in prayer I made a resolution to look at every guy around my age like they were my brother in Christ, not a potential romantic interest. AND LITERALLY THE NEXT DAY, a very attractive man sat in front of me during daily Mass…he wore a collar and the presiding priest announced after Mass that he was in seminary. I had to laugh!

It was like God was saying, “he is mine.” Not with the malice or nastiness of a jealous girlfriend, but with the love of a Father that claims His children and speaks their identity over them. 

First and foremost, we are His. If you want something to romanticize, that is it. I give you permission to romanticize your relationship with God from time to time. 

Imagine God bumping into you at the grocery store and offering to walk you out to your car to help put groceries in your car because He doesn’t want your conversation to end. 

Imagine the Lord asking you to dance, guiding you around the room, feeling safe and loved in His arms. 

Imagine picnic blankets and chocolate covered strawberries and running freely through fields of wildflowers with Jesus. 

Imagine God chasing after you as you run into the rain because He will never leave you, but will run out to meet you if you decide to leave Him. 

I say “from time to time” because God wants us to live in reality. 

It is true that He never wants our conversations to end. It is true that He wants to guide you through life, to keep you safe, and love you. It is true that He would delight in running freely with you, enjoying the small things life has to offer. It is true that He chases after us. It is true that He will run out to meet us when we come back to Him. All of those things are true, but if we romanticize our relationship with God too much, we might be disappointed when our life doesn’t look exactly like a Nicholas Sparks book turned movie or sound exactly like a Taylor Swift song.  

And I promise you, I say this to myself! Like everyday…

He wants me to live in reality. 

As much as I love the times in prayer when Jesus lets me rest my head on His chest, part of me then aches for that intimacy with a man. If I’m not diligent in surrendering that desire to the Lord, I become bitter. 

What is important for me to remember is that the point of this life I have been given isn’t to find my Prince Charming and live happily ever after, but to unite myself completely to God, everyday, and live out of that relationship. I am His!

We are His. 

We are His in the cinematic moments. We are His in reality. 

Here’s the thing, as much as I loooove being God’s beloved, I become restless so easily. Since making that resolution, I have failed every. single. day. But in the moments I plan out what I’ll wear on my first date with someone I have only made eye contact with, God regards me with compassion. “Be satisfied with Me,” He whispers, and I snap out of it. My hope in making that resolution was to stop getting distracted, to stay rooted in my identity, to be satisfied by the One who alone can satisfy. 

Baby steps. I try. I fail. I will try again. 

I am His. We are His.